Marriage pt 2 50 min
Trinitarian Marriage 43 min
Starting a Family pt. 3 - In Laws 48 min
Unknown and Frustrated - (featured in Vol. 19/1 of Credenda Agenda, p. 20) 39 min
Starting a Family pt. 4 34 min
"In the modern world of male and female relationship, men are more like Francis Drake than John Smith. They are interested in conquest, visiting women like cities along a coastline, stopping only long enough to raid and despoil. There is no real penetration of the interior before boredom strikes and they move on. The result is invariable devastation. But many Christian men, though they can say they are the husband of one wife, are injudiciously bored with their wives. There has been conquest -- they "got the girl." But now that they have her, they only nibble and set her aside. There is headship with no dominion; conquest without exploration. Leif Erickson may have landed at Newfoundland, but he knew nothing of Ol' Muddy, or Pike's Peak, or the Painted Desert. He never tasted a Georgia Peach, or was cowed by an electrical storm in Denver. He may have landed, but he never really explored.
...The problem is that men think of the wedding as "mission accomplished." They've landed her and now she can't run off without getting into trouble. But a wedding is mere admission to the ride, not conclusion of the ride. The covenant is a license to know -- not evidence that you have known. It is a license to know her sexually. License to know her heart. License to probe her fears, to visit the dark places under the stairs.
These differing expectations and orientations produce unimaginable exasperation. The wife longs to be known and loved. The husband piddles around, splashing the beach, when there are mountains to scale, rivers to navigate, cornfields in which to lose oneself. He thinks he is done. She wonders why he doesn't get started. She is a feast on a table, but her husband isn't hungry (except for sex). She is as unsatisfied as a Ferrari stuck in first gear.
If men were faithful to pursue their wives as they ought, they would be less bored and more fruitful. But pursuit is so much more than flowers and sex, or dinner and a movie. Pursuit is not allowing the curiousity you once had about her to dwindle. It is asking questions that have not been asked. It is not assuming you know what she thinks. Pursuit requires time and zeal, preparation and forethought. And as you seek to live with your wife "according to knowledge" you will find that your marriage is much more challenging, and much more rewarding, than you ever thought."
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