O-H-N-O

John David Mercer/US Presswire

Here's the game plan for 2008:

We need border patrols along Interstate 10, from Jacksonville to Pensacola. A Coast Guard blockade at Biscayne Bay. And the FAA should redirect all inbound flights to South Florida from Ohio.

If you see a silver helmet and a sweater vest coming, contact authorities.

... If you've ever seen lions maul a water buffalo, you've seen the last two title games.

When the program's bowl record is 0-9 against the SEC, the evidence is overwhelming. Buckeyes fans are fond of breaking into impromptu group spelling bees, shouting out "O-H-I-O." When an SEC team shows up on the other sideline it should be "O-H-N-O." They're also fond of calling their school The Ohio State University. It might also now be called The Overmatched State University of the BCS.

...Ohio State, meanwhile, now symbolizes the pigskin Peter Principle. The Buckeyes have achieved just enough the past two seasons to rise to a level where they're incompetent.

It's a tough thing, putting together an overachieving season and seeing it end in embarrassing fashion. Especially since the Buckeyes know what this means -- another year of "S-E-C" chants and barbs about flopping on the big stage.

"If you struggle to take criticism, then you need not be at Ohio State or not be playing the game of football."

Well, good. At least Tressel knows what he's in for.

And he should know not to bring that weak Big Ten stuff back to the BCS National Championship Game again next year.